I was recently invited to go speak to a middle school about size diversity, size acceptance and positive body image.

I have a few ideas so far about things to talk about and ways to approach these issues with these students, but I was wondering if anybody could help me.

If you have ideas for things that definitely need to get mentioned or activities or quotes that might be good, I hope that you’ll share them with me. If you know of any resources that might be helpful, that would be great too.

Thanks so much!

Jay,

I try to think in “sound bites” when I want to leave a message with someone.  With middle school children the sound bite I’d probably want to leave them with is, “People come in all shapes and sizes.  Wouldn’t the world be a boring place if they didn’t?” 

Once when I was giving a university presentation I got there before the students and pushed all the desks really close together.  When they got there they started trying to move them back to their places and I said no, because I wanted them to see what it felt like for me every day.  It was an effective exercise. 

Good luck with your presentation.  It’s a really great thing that you’re doing.

Elizabeth

That’s a great idea about the sound bite. Based on your recommendation I’ve started a list of sound bites that I’m in the process of trying out. Interestingly, the world of public health educators thinks like that.

I was recently at a meet and greet for the Public Health program at Emory (I’ll leave out the point about me being annoyed by the “obesity crisis” that kept getting brought up all day), and in one of the breakout sessions we were told to come up with a soundbite message that we’d want to leave people if we could.

Mine was, “Love your body no matter your size.” I as the lost one to share and the room was silent as people were shocked at the idea. Love your body no matter your size!? How unprecedented.

My point is, that’s a great idea for middle schoolers to, and I love your soundbite.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Hi Jay!

I think you need some pictures… of course.  Kids always have really interesting things to say about pictures.  Maybe if you can find (or I’ll help you find) some really beautiful photographs of some really beautiful fat men and women, you can solicit reactions from them and get a conversation started based on that.  That way, instead of telling them what their prejudices might or might not be, you’re having them become aware of their own prejudices.

Just a thought…

Cheers,
Jenn

Jay,

When I think about body size/image stigma and the hurt and harm it can do, I believe there is no population that is more vulnerable than our young children.  I am thrilled that you have the opportunity to speak to some middle school children about size diversity and acceptance.

When I think about your presentation, I am putting myself in the shoes of a young middle schooler listening to your presentation, I envision some of the following potential scenarios.

Scenario #1;  I am an overweight kid who has been traumatized throughout my life about my weight.  I am ashamed of my body and I think it is my fault…  As I am listening to your presentation, I might be embraraced and be looking around the room to see if any of my peers think you are talking about me.  I also might be hearing the message for the first time in my life that being overweight isn’t necessarily the worst thing in the world, despite my own beliefs that it is.  I might want to know more but I am too shy to approach you after the presentation.  I hope there is some sort of way to get a list of stuff on the net I can goto to learn more.

Scenario #2;  I am a bulimic girl, I am throwing up every day.  My life depends on being thin.  Being fat or overweight it the worst thing that cold happen to me.  I’d rather be a paraplegic than fat.  My friends love my style.  I want to be in fashion.  My thighs are too big.  My teeth are disintegrating and my dentist told me to be careful.  As I listen to you I might be thinking, you have no idea what the truth is.  I have to be thin.  I am not interested in hearing what you have to say.  I wonder if what he is saying about the fashion industry is true?  How could Vogue not true, it is my bible. 

Scenario #3; I am an athlete.  I know that all it takes to be trim and fit is exercise and eating right.  I might be thinking this guy has no idea what it takes.  He thinks that it is okay to be fat.  What a jerk.  There is no excuse for being fat.  Sure I love my Grandma who is fat, but she is old, it doesn’t matter for her.  I can’t wait for this presentation to be over.

I could go on and on.  Middle school is a heartless place.  You are going in there to present innovative and challenging ideas.
It would be nice if you could get kids to understand that there are many factors that contribute to someone being overweight.  I think that it might be too far to reach in one presentation.  However, I think you do have an opportunity for this kids who are in the midst of eating disorders to hear an alternative message and while they may still be too ashamed to reach out to you for more info, if they know how to get the MORE of ME to LOVE for more info, then that is a win.

One of the things that I feel a lot of passion about is that reaching both the children and the educators that influence them is something that we can do as activists that can have an important impact.  It took me until I reached my 40’s to be exposed to the concept of Fat Acceptance and the mere possibility that I could be okay exactly as I am.  That I could have a happy life right now, and stop waiting for that “someday” when I lose the weight and then I will be “ok”.

I am so excited that you have found a school that is open to exposing the kids to these concepts that could be the fork in the road for one kid that lets them get an education about how to love and nurture themselves no matter what their size.

I am excited to hear about the visit.

Cheers,

Ivan

Thanks to everyone for their great suggestions about how to approach this talk, whether you posted here or contacted me privately with other resources. Most everything that was suggested got integrated to the best of our abilities, and over time the presentation will become increasingly refined.

In short, the talk went fantastically! The students were all really engaged, and I think this was the perfect age to talk to them.

Rather than talk to the whole Middle School we only talked to the 6th grade, which is generally right before a lot of serious issues set in (that is, Ivan mentioned bulemic girls and though there have been problems with the 8th graders and that issue, the teachers have found that the 6th graders are generally still not getting the message or possibility of that as a course of action). My point is, this seemed to catch a lot of students at the right time.

Also, rather than talk to the whole grade at once, we talked to them in three separate groups, giving the talk three times. That was also good because it allowed them to interact with us a lot more, and they were a very interested and inquisitive bunch with lots of bright things to share.

The students had just finished reading a book called The Misfits which is told from the perspective of a fat 7th grader about him and his friends being different and getting called names and what they do about it. Thus, these students are pretty sensitive to the ideas of calling others names or discriminating against people for their differences. They hadn’t heard it so strongly from the perspective of body size, especially being told how okay it is to be fat or have a different body shape, but basically, they were very receptive.

One activity that they loved had to do with the Venus of Willendorf. I asked Marilyn Wann if we could use her Venus cut-out and dress up activity from FAT!SO? with the students. We didn’t have time during the talk for it, but we gave them all Venus kits to take home. Their teacher offered extra-credit for doing it and because they did it at home it means many of their parents probably saw the activity and asked about it (it’s a private school with involved parents).

Many of the students took the opportunity to dress up the Venus, some even making their own outfits (I’ve attached a picture below).

It was a great experience and we look forward to giving the talk again in the future.

Jay….  this is fantastic…  I am curious…  what sorts of questions did the 6th graders ask and what were some of their perspectives about fat?

Jay,

How exciting!  I am so delighted to hear what you are doing and about the positive reception you received from these students.  Teaching these kids about diversity at this point in time will shape their attitudes for life. 

I was trying to think back to when I was in sixth grade (quite a lot of archives to search through!) and I remember having to get glasses that year and having my first crush on a boy who played the drums in our school band!  I was in 7 schools in 8 years so it’s sometimes hard to remember specifics but I can remember that.  OH, and my first crush’s name was Jay.  Imagine that!  Sorry for trippin on ya there! 

I really appreciate that you are taking action.  Many well intentioned people express a desire to help but do nothing or have to have their hand held and be told every step to take.  You saw a need and have taken action.  Bravo to you, baby.  If I can help, I’m glad to do so.

Looking forward,  Peggy