No, telling the truth is not being adversarial - you’re right. However, yelling the truth at someone who has spent her life thinking that it’s something else would be foolish and actually WOULD have been a waste of that hour. That makes people feel attacked, and when people feel attacked they shut down and don’t hear anything you say. By speaking in a civil manner and with tact we allowed her to hear something with which she was unfamiliar and try to identify with it.
So, no, the hour was not a waste, and, no, we did not allow her to dominate the conversation. It was a very useful hour in that we allowed her to see and understand that what she conventionally believed was not all there was to know. More than that, it was only the beginning of the conversation. She was very vocal about wanting to know more, very excited to get the copy of Linda Bacon’s Health at Every Size that we gave her, and very forthcoming with the desire to stay in touch to discuss this further and learn. Had we yelled the truth at her, she would never have heard what we had to say and wanted to talk again in the future.
It takes a long time to change somebody’s understanding of a huge part of their worldview, and if she had to identify with us on grounds that weren’t our entire point in order to start to understand us and want to get into our worldview and know more, then so be it.
Is the world changed because we talked to her? Not in the slightest, but short of an armed revolution, it wouldn’t be in an hour. I think the talk was productive and a start - the opening of a channel of communication. I appreciate that you’re burnt out on activism because you don’t think anything will change - it’s an exhausting process and so hard to see come to fruition - but it’s that struggle that I want to help take up for those who no longer have the energy or patience (understandably) to fight the fight. Telling me I wasted an hour is not the way to encourage me to continue to do the work I want to do - however slow and pointless you consider it. Please offer constructive criticism and support me. It’s been such a pleasure to exchange thoughts with you, but it’s hard when I feel attacked for making efforts - even if those efforts didn’t lead to the immediate destruction of the BMI system.