I was born with a belly. I weighed 6 lbs 2 ounces at birth. I swear at least 3 of those pounds was in my belly. :( I have dealt with negativity in regards to my size all my life. Being sexually abused & bullied in school did not help matters either.
I turned to food as a source of comfort. Food didn’t judge me, laugh at me, or make me want to kill myself. Children & adults did. I was suicidal for years, mainly because of my size & the way I was treated because of it. I’m still bad in some regards, although thankfully I’m not as quick to think that I’d be better off dead. I know I’m big, I know that I should lose a few for health reasons…. I just want friends, family, & a special someone who will ACCEPT me just as I am. Won’t expect me to change, to lose weight or become someone I’m not to make THEM more COMFORTABLE!
I’m 38 years old, never been married, only had 2 men in my life. Took me years to figure out that NOT wanting to be seen in public with me wasn’t NORMAL! I deserve so much better than I have gotten so far, from society, family members, & myself. I’m fine with who I am & my size when I’m alone, or talking to friends online…. It’s when I am out in public, watching people react to me that I get the self loathing come into play.

Anyone know how to end that…... I would really like to get to the point where I don’t care what others think of me. :((

Hi Teri,

I just wanted to thank you for this post and for your willingness to share what you’ve experienced and where you’re at now.

I love that you said, “I deserve so much better than I have gotten so far, from society, family members, & myself.”  You are so right.  You deserve love and acceptance from the people in your life.  Even if you haven’t had much of it before, you deserve it now.

So here’s one place to start:  Practice giving yourself love.  Say (or think) loving things to yourself all day long.  When you find yourself criticizing yourself, turn it around with loving thoughts.  For example, if you think “I hate my belly” change the thought to “I love my belly” or “My belly is beautiful.”  Every time you pass a mirror, say or think “I am beautiful.”  This isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s necessary.  This works for all kinds of self-criticism.  After a while, other people’s judgments or looks at you won’t matter so much.  The more you’re in love with yourself, the less other people’s concepts of you will matter.

One of the books that really helped me love myself and let go of constant self criticism is Louise Hay’s, You Can Heal Your Life.  I highly recommend it.

Please post a comment and let me know how you’re doing.

With love,
Golda

P.S.  Talking to a good therapist (one who isn’t going to judge you for your size) can also help with this process.  You can search for a Health At Every Size based therapist here: http://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/content.asp?id=32

Just try not to pay attention to what others say. It may sound like a cliche but it’s a simple truth. Be strong inside.