Word of the Week

Consider this...

Thinking back to experiences in our lives can be hard, emotional, and overwhelming, yet at the same time, quite liberating.

Some of my favorite memories include sitting with my cousin, Sophie, by the lake at my grandparents’ house, swimming in a resort pool with my mom while on vacation, playing football with my family on a college campus, and backpacking in Asia with my friends. Those are the first ones that come to mind. Wow - it felt great to sit here and think about those things. I hope you’ll take a minute to do the same for yourself and recall some great memories.

It’s strange how often a distinct image defines many years of experience. If you’ve lived in a house your whole childhood, maybe it’s one particular afternoon, hour or moment that comes to mind when you think back to the time you spent there. I often wonder why certain experiences become dominant in our memories no matter how relatively insignificant they may seem.

All of us have a combination of good and bad experiences in life and many of those have become memories. Do we have any choice about which experiences get transformed into memories? Whether or not we do, I think we need to accept all of our memories, good and bad. It happens so often that we try to embrace good memories while struggling not to acknowledge the more painful ones. So often the bad memories that we so strongly refuse to process become burdensome and an ever-growing emotional snowball rolling behind us.

I’m working on forcing myself to confront my good and bad decisions, which have translated into good and bad memories, on a more regular basis. I think back to the times when I was called names as a child, hurt by others throughout my life or when I hurt others and I think through how these situations impacted me, why I was hurt and how I can make peace with each and every one of these instances. I force myself to acknowledge some decisions, I’ve made in my life from which I can learn. It’s hard and may not have the same value for everyone, but for the most part I know that this approach to my life, experiences and memories gives me peace of mind. It gives me the ability to feel feelings, but even when it hurts a lot, I constantly remind myself that I am strong enough to handle it all. One great benefit of taking the time to acknowledge and learn from bad memories, however, is that they pop into my head less frequently or when they do, come with less hurt.

When you are experiencing something beautiful in the world, imagine ingraining it into your brain. Try to take a mental picture of the occasion, feeling or thought and you’ll remember it for a much longer time. Filling our lives with great memories means more wonderful recollections to be had and reminds us to seek out the sweeter things in life.

Golda has a great exercise for confronting the emotions that may arise as you focus more sharply on your memories.