Word of the Week

Change

Definition: to become different

Change

Consider this...

Let’s be honest: change can be a scary thing.

When I was a child, I used to suffer severe anxiety at the beginning of every new school year because I did not know what to expect from my new teacher, new classmates, and new lessons.

Adult me readily recognized this fear, but that did not help weathering change any easier. When it was time to move to college, I suffered what I can only describe as a breakdown. Prompted only by my father’s innocent question, “Are you excited for fall?”, I sat on the front porch of my childhood home, sobbing uncontrollably and incoherently trying to explain my emotional reaction to my bewildered dad.

But how do you explain the wordless fear inside? My attempts to nail down my terror seemed pathetically weak: what if I can’t figure out how to get around in my new town? How will I know where the closest pharmacy is? What if I need help? Who will be there for me?

My dad did the best he could to comfort me. “If you want to stay here with us, we will still be proud of you,” he said. But his statement awoke another emotion in me: shame. I expected better from myself. After all, I got into my first choice college and I already had a lot to be excited about - I was going to room with a high school friend of mine, and I was already accepted into the honors program. I loved the campus and I was already excited for football season to start. Was I really going to let my fear stop me from enjoying these things?

The answer in my heart was no, despite my fear.

As I expected, the move was difficult. But what I didn’t expect was how quickly I found myself feeling at home in my new life.

The anxiety of where to find a good place to eat for Sunday dinner was replaced with an excited curiosity about the local restaurants downtown. The fear of accidentally getting on the wrong bus was replaced with amused acceptance at sometimes accidentally receiving a driving tour of an unknown part of town (even if it did make me late for class).

I was proud to discover that it was only when faced with change big enough to trigger extreme anxiety that I found my inner strength and adaptability.

So next time you feel anxious or fearful about change, ask yourself: am I strong enough to cope with this?

I think you will often find that the answer in your heart is yes.