The other day, I saw this question on a website and I got all warm and fuzzy inside when I read the answers. We all think that what we look like is so important, but it turns out it’s not really important at all.

On a daily basis, we are exposed to images of what we are told is beautiful. It’s usually a young woman with large breasts and a small waist. The cosmetic industry profits in the billions from selling makeup and creams which we are told will make us more beautiful.

However, the vast majority of the responses to this question had absolutely nothing to do with aesthetics. Here are just a few examples of what people said they consider beautiful:

~ “Everyone’s always beautiful with a smile on their face.”
~ “What’s beautiful is who you are inside.”
~ “A kind, loving heart.”
~ “Authenticity, self-confidence, and a smile.”
~ “The beauty of a person comes from the inside. If the heart is beautiful then that beauty will radiate to the outside so that all the world can see it. A person can’t fake inside beauty.”
~ “Beauty radiates through one’s personality, the way a person talks, smiles, and the way they handle themselves. It is something you see in the face, the eyes.”
~ “Accepting who you are and being confident in your own skin.”
~ “Beauty is all about perception. If you identify with someone’s heart, they will be beautiful to you. Sometimes a person who appears beautiful will become unattractive as you realize they have no substance or are negative and draining.”
~ “Character. Nothing else. Someone has a good character, result is beauty.”

These are just a few examples of some of the answers, and 95% of them were similar. There was the odd smart-assed, superficial comment, but the overwhelming majority expressed sentiments like these. I found it fascinating, but not too surprising.

In our society, we’re all required to lead double lives to some extent. We all have a “packaged” side that we present to the world, which is often quite different from the person we are inside. We all have to be a little contrived in our daily lives in order to get by in our demanding world. We can’t necessarily express every single thing we’d like. But when we’re in the comfort of our own homes, surrounded by the people and things we love, we can connect to the real “us” inside … the person who is horrified and disgusted by all the speciousness in the world, or the person who is delighted by the sight of someone authentic.

We all know that we are beautiful, no matter what size we are … and it turns out everyone else does, too. All that marketing and endless preaching about physical perfection can’t take it away, because it’s founded on a lie: that your beauty is measured solely by the way you look.

Your beauty has less to do with how you look, and far more to do with WHO YOU ARE. Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy with who you are? You should be … because that is what truly makes you beautiful, and anyone of substance will be able to see it.

So, I ask you: What makes us beautiful?

Gabriela Falarz is a blogger, freelance writer and editor, and size acceptance activist. She is a plus-sized woman who believes all large people deserve to be happy, celebrate their beauty and fight for their rights. She is a regular columnist for Large in Charge magazine. She also regularly blogs about fat-related issues in her blog Celebreight Yourself. She lives in Toronto and can be reached by email at gabrielafalarz@gmail.com.