Part 4 of this 5-part installment on the 2009 NAAFA Convention will focus on the meeting of the Fat Poets’ Society. Earlier this year, the Fat Poets’ Society released its first anthology, Fat Poets Speak: Voices of the Fat Poets’ Society which was edited by Frannie Zellman. The book included poems from 5 poets, but this year, the meeting of the Fat Poets’ Society attracted a much larger group. Somehow, the size of this group didn’t detract from its intimacy.

The Feeling and Movement of Your Body

The session was led by the original fat poets in attendance, and one of the primary activities we enjoyed was led by Lesleigh Owen. She gave us a few exercises related both to the feeling and movement of our bodies and asked us to then write about those things, whether in verse or prose or just a series of thoughts and observations.

Now, I love to write, but very little of what I write is creative writing, whether fiction or poetry. One reason I never write is because I never know where to start. If I write a poem, what do I write it about? Love is the only thing that comes to mind, but that’s so trite. If I write a story, is it a short story or am I beginning a novel? In either case, do I think it through and map out my characters and storyboard or do I just jump right in? With these questions pacing through my head, I generally abandon my hankering for creative writing and then turn to blogging about fat discrimination or the Bible or something, uh, light-hearted like that.

The beauty of Lesleigh’s exercise was that it gave me something to think about and something to write about immediately. We were asked to sit quietly and focus on the way our bodies felt, whether in their connection to the seat or floor, their aches and pains or whatever else. The next exercise was to move our bodies and write about the way that movement felt. Having these very specific goals in mind made it a lot easier for me to write creatively about something - in verse, no less!

Sharing Means Caring

But the amazing part about this meeting of the Fat Poets’ Society was not necessarily the freedom with which I finally found myself writing creatively. It was the amazing things that everyone else wrote and their ability, however difficult, to share them with the rest of us.

Quite frankly, as a thin man, I was honored to be at this session, where these wonderful women opened themselves up and shared their fears and pains and difficulties and, in some cases, humiliations. There had been a lot of sharing so far at the conference - opening up at NAAFA is something that people feel comfortable doing a lot, when, after all, this is one of the only times that they get to be who they are without being looked at for their size - but nothing topped the emotional baring of the Fat Poets’ Society. I was brought to tears on more than one occasion, and I’m nearly positive that at some point there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. There was no pity or apology for these feeling and actions. They just were what they were.

For many there, I believe the experience was cathartic. Writing is healthy and allows certain parts of us to, quite literally, go away, moving us mentally away from certain experiences, difficulties or emotions. I don’t know whether or not anyone really got to let anything go for good, but I do think that the experience helped a lot of people get back into writing and allowed them to get more comfortable exploring themselves and their feelings.

You Can’t Give Hugs on the Internet

I don’t think I got the same thing out of this meeting as some of the other people there. For me, it was not particularly cathartic - though I do recall feeling relieved on more than one occasion ;) - but rather, it was eye-opening. I’ve been working in the online world of fat acceptance and health at every size for over a year now, and it’s one thing to read people’s stories and blogs and try to understand how they’re feeling and what they’ve been through. It’s another thing entirely to sit in a room with so many beautiful and wonderful women and hear what they’ve faced and how they’ve had to deal with it - and how they’re still dealing with it. And in poetry, at that!

Again, this isn’t to make it sound like anyone needs pity or help. Many of the poems were about wonderful things. These women were strong and growing stronger, I believe, by their ability to write and share. However, by seeing their faces, hearing the words come out of their own mouths, watching the reactions, understanding and empathy of others, and wondering why in the hell anyone so kind should ever be made to feel some of these things, the experience hit me like a ton of bricks in the chest.

There will never be an intangibility to those online again after sitting in that room and listening to the new voices of the Fat Poets’ Society. May they write ‘til their hearts content.

If you’d like to read the less-than-emotionally-moving poem that I wrote while joining the Fat Poets’ Society, I’d be much obliged.

Part I: Dr. Linda Bacon’s Reflections on Size Acceptance and Thin Privilege
Part II: Sharing Size Diversity and Acceptance with Children
Part III: Fly Free - Teaming up with the Association for Airline Passenger Rights

As an historian, Jay understands the degree to which our aesthetic judgments are shaped by our cultural surroundings, and he has studied and written about the importance of rights, respect and acceptance for all people. Jay is a member of the Association for Size Diversity and Health.