The Power of Words

A lot of us large women were once fat kids. Many of us were subjected to taunting and teasing. We heard all the insults, the put-downs, the jokes, and even though we have grown into confident, assertive women, the sound of these words can often trigger something primal and painful from deep in our memory banks.

Are there words that haunt you? Do certain words automatically summon bad memories or painful emotions every time you hear them?

The other day, I got into a conversation with a few Facebook friends about the word “fatty.” It came up because I’ve started writing for a website called Fierce, Freethinking Fatties, and I posted a blog entry from that site (http://fiercefatties.com/2011/10/24/hello-my-name-is/) on a group page. One woman posed the question: “How do you feel about the term ‘fatty?’” Many women responded, and a great deal of them stated very strongly that they did not like the term or that they thought it was degrading.

I could definitely understand how they felt. I’ve been called fatty many times. I’ve also been called fatso, fat slob, fatass … you name it. I’m not going to lie and say those names don’t bother me or have absolutely no power over me. However, in this case (the name of the website) I can honestly say I don’t mind it at all. In fact, I think it’s kind of badass.

It’s all about the context. In my opinion, the name of the website is taking a term that has been used to degrade and demean and is using it in a sarcastic, darkly humorous way. We all know the term “fatty” has been used in a hurtful way. However, if we decide to turn the dynamic around and use the word for our own purposes, I think that it loses its negativity and even turns into a positive.

A Useful Analogy

You may not agree with this analogy, but I think it’s similar to African Americans taking the N-word and using it among each other in a playful, bantering way. The N-word is a horrible term that was used to segregate an entire race of people and make them feel deficient, less-than, and inferior to the prejudicial people who flung it at them (much like the term “fatty” and other derivations of it have been used to exclude us).

The word will always have painful, negative associations for a lot of African Americans, and understandably so. Many people would argue that the term should never be used by anyone, under any circumstances, and simply be abolished. However, a lot of African Americans turned the negative dynamic around and started using the offensive word for their own purposes, and now it’s even used as a compliment or a sign of respect or affection in some situations.

There will always be people who try to demean us and put us down. They are not going anywhere. We need to deal with them. I think it’s important that we learn to stand up to them in a powerful way, and show them that the words they use to hurt us are just as weak as they are.

Take Back the Words

I am definitely fierce. I am definitely freethinking. And I am definitely fat, no question about it. I can’t hide it. Anyone who sees me knows that I am fat. So why shouldn’t I use the word? Why has the word “fat” and any version of it become so obscene? To many people, the word “fat” (and any derivation of it) is far more offensive and insulting than that other F-word.

We are fat. And it’s okay. So the next time some idiot decides to catcall at you from across the street or from whatever hole they’re hiding in, instead of shrinking and wanting to disappear, yell back: “Yeah, I’m fat! Very observant of you! And your point is …?”

Don’t be afraid to use the word, and don’t give anyone the power to let it hurt you.

What do you think?

Gabriela Falarz is a blogger, freelance writer and editor, and size acceptance activist. She is a plus-sized woman who believes all large people deserve to be happy, celebrate their beauty and fight for their rights. She is a regular columnist for Large in Charge magazine. She also regularly blogs about fat-related issues in her blog Celebreight Yourself. She lives in Toronto and can be reached by email at gabrielafalarz@gmail.com.