Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock

I’ve been noticing my own imperfections a lot lately. 

Right now, I’m working with a business coach, who recently asked me to take a look at the way I spend my time during my workday.

As I started to look at my life in half-hour blocks, I had two reactions. One—it reminded me, in a really negative way, of the way I used to bill my time as a lawyer.  I used to bill in tenths of an hour (6 minute increments), often working on 15-25 matters at a time.  All of that timekeeping and noting every bit of work that I did made it difficult to just relax during my off hours.  I used to be aware of time in a constant and terrible way.

My other reaction was one of self-judgment.  I looked at my day, which was a mixture of hard work and fun, and judged myself for not being the perfect machine that I thought I was being asked to be.

Break!

I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out how to build pleasure into my workday. 

I take dance breaks, walking breaks and meeting-friends-for-coffee breaks.  I know from experience that when I don’t take this time for myself throughout the day, I feel grumpy, unhappy, and really unproductive.

When I finally took a break from this self-judgment, I was able to remember all of that.  I remembered that taking time for pleasure during my day actually improves my mood, my productivity, and my interactions with clients. It’s the way that I work best, and it’s perfect for me.

The Humanity of Imperfection

Perfectionism is a really common problem, especially among those of us who have trouble accepting ourselves.  When we can’t accept ourselves, we look to others for approval, and we determine at some point in our lives that being perfect would help us get that approval.

But the problem with perfection is that we can’t really achieve it.  We’re human, and we’re imperfect.  So, when we strive for perfection, we just end up with a bunch of guilt and shame about our (very human) imperfection.

As part of my Body Love Breakthrough Session, I always ask prospective clients, “If I could wave a magic wand, how would you like your relationship with food and your body to be?” 

The amazing thing is, 99% of the time, I’m not hearing about a desire to be perfect.  Even the clients who tell me initially that they want to eat more perfectly or look perfect, don’t say that when I ask them head on about their desires.  When I ask them what they truly want, they tell me things like, “I want to eat without feeling guilty,” and “I want to look at myself in the mirror and feel attractive.”

In other words, their deepest desires are not about perfection.  Their deepest desires are about peace. 

Peace in knowing that they know how to eat and how much to eat. 

Peace in knowing that they are attractive. 

Peace in feeling worthy enough to make choices that might not seem so perfect to others.

So, now I want to hear your answer to the question: “If I could wave a magic wand, how would you like your relationship with food and your body to be?” Let me know in the comments below!

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness. She counsels women and men throughout the country on how to get off the dieting roller coaster, give their bodies what they really crave, and love their bodies and themselves. Golda's counseling and activism work have been featured on CBS's The Early Show, ABC's Nightline and Time Out New York. For more support with healing your relationship with food and your body, get your free copy of Golda's Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining by clicking here.