Angry, Uncomfortable and Sweaty
I think nearly everyone knows that feeling, that feeling of being uncomfortable in your body and wearing too much clothing to cover it up. How many of you have worn a sweater over a sleeveless dress in sweltering heat to cover up areas of your body that you wanted to hide? How many of you have worn a t-shirt in the pool for the same reason? How many of you have worn all black on a hot summer’s day?
I can answer an emphatic “I have” to all of the above questions. I’ve done all of those things - and more. And all they made me was sweaty, uncomfortable and angry. I felt angry that I “wasn’t allowed” to dress the way that thinner people dressed and I was angry at myself for being fat.
A few years ago I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to let myself be angry and uncomfortable (or sweaty!) any more. I realized that the idea that I “wasn’t allowed” to wear less clothing was really a self-imposed rule. No matter how it might feel, you can’t get a ticket for wearing a tank top!
Every Part is Super Sexy
When I was just learning to love my body, I started using a technique that I’m going to share with you right now. I would decide that whatever part of my body that I was feeling iffy or wrong about was the absolute, most sexy, attractive, alluring part of my body. Not only was this part of my body super gorgeous, it was so gorgeous that people wished that their bodies looked that way.
Now, I realize that this might seem way over the top, and, indeed, it is. I have found, however, that sometimes you need to swing the pendulum way in the opposite direction before things start to even out. So if you’re going around hating your belly, you may just have to decide that your belly is the sexiest thing on the planet before you can start to feel reasonably good, every day, about your belly.
Why does this matter? Because hiding your body sends a message to others and to yourself. It sends a message that you are uncomfortable with how you look and that your body is unacceptable. It sends the message that making yourself acceptable to other people is more important than your own needs. And I can tell you that the more you try to be acceptable to other people by ignoring what you need, the more you will feel unfulfilled, angry, self-hateful, uncomfortable, and, at least in the summer, sweaty.
Let It Out There
So your mission (should you choose to accept it) is really a two parter this week:
#1— Allow yourself to bare parts of your body that you typically wouldn’t. If you “hate” your arms, wear a sleeveless top for a day, and see how it feels. If you “hate” your belly, try wearing something more form fitting than usual. If you “hate” your legs, try wearing a skirt.
#2 – Tell yourself that these parts of your body that you’re baring are super gorgeous and sexy. Do not say or think anything negative about them. If you get complimented by someone on your appearance, say “Thank you!” and that is all. Enjoy the feeling of the sun on your skin, the way the breeze feels across your body. Literally touch your body when you can and enjoy the sensation. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure of this experience rather than listening to anything negative that your mind might say.
Comment below and let me know how it goes!
And don’t forget to check out other great More of Me to Love blogs.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness. She counsels women and men throughout the country on how to get off the dieting roller coaster, give their bodies what they really crave, and love their bodies and themselves. Golda's counseling and activism work have been featured on CBS's The Early Show, ABC's Nightline and Time Out New York. For more support with healing your relationship with food and your body, get your free copy of Golda's Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining by clicking here.
To learn more about Golda, click here.