“A question not asked is a door not opened” – Marilee Adams, PhD.
Most of the time we tell. We tell people what we want. We tell our children what we expect. We tell our spouse what needs to be done. We tell our friends what to do.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it creates tension. If we are not happy with the response we get, we feel resentful, maybe even angry. We are disappointed. They don’t do what we tell them to do. When we resent we’re out of balance.
Stop telling and start asking.
You want your spouse to do something for you?
Ask: How do you feel about doing that for me? When will be a good time? May I please ask you something? What ideas do you have about getting it done?
Your friend asking for support?
Ask: How do you feel? What are your choices?
Want your children to clean their room?
Say: You can clean up your room now and then we’ll take a walk in the park or you can do it tonight before bed.
Ask: What do you choose?
Open the door. Ask and listen to the answer. You might get what you want with less effort if you do that.
Bottom Line: When you ask questions, you open the door for flowing communication, for cooperation.
Ask: How can I communicate this as a question instead of a statement?
Affirm: I ask questions and I open the door for better communication.
Michal Spiegelman of Balanced Moments successfully helps people worldwide create balance and fulfillment in their lives. As a Life Coach, Michal helps people stretch, get out of their comfort zones, grow and achieve. She holds a degree in social work and has 15 years of experience as an Energy Healer. Michal is a trained facilitator and mentor of the Hoffman Institute, a world-renowned leader in personal development. She is a Certified Professional Life Coach (CPC) trained by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).